Stolen Moments
by underthegreensward
Summary: A collection of ficlets, written about moments we didn't see on the show or just short stories that exist because I had a lot of feelings.
1. And Then You

**A/N:** This was written after 3x11, because I thought it was missing something.

* * *

The frown on her face is still prominent as she holds the door open for Paige. Why is everyone warning her? Who do they think Paige is? And why did _Jenna_ of all people warn her? She shakes her head, trying to get rid of all those thoughts. She knows who Paige is and she knows Paige needs her tonight. That's all she wants to think about now.

Walking slowly behind Paige, Emily reaches out for her hand to stop her. "Do you wanna go upstairs and wait a second? I have to talk to my mom real quick." Paige nods. "Sure, then I can get my stuff together and we'll still have some time left." Emily squeezes Paige's hand and lets go of it with a soft smile. "I'll be quick, I promise." Nodding again, Paige turns around and goes upstairs.

Emily bites the inside of her lip as she watches Paige leap up the stairs. She wishes she could've helped Paige sooner, she wishes she had known it. Known about Alison, known about Paige almost...

But she knows that this is the past, and the past is what she wants to get away from, so she just wants to make sure that Paige never feels this way again.

Her mother is sitting in the kitchen, reading the newspaper. She looks up when Emily enters the kitchen. "Hey, is everything alright?" Emily nods. "You don't look like you're fine. Did Paige leave?" One corner of her mouth is lifting up. A mention of Paige does that to her. "No, she's upstairs, getting her stuff together." She rests her arms on the back of the chair opposite her mom's.

"Then why are you pulling this face?" Emily looks at her fingers, not knowing what to say. "Emily, just tell me." Looking up, she balls her hand to a fist and swallows the lump in her throat. "Paige is not... she just told me that... she just told me something and it's..."

Struggling for words Emily looks at her hands again. "She told me something I didn't know and it was something she was dealing with for a long time. I don't think I should tell you everything about this, but I'd like to talk to her some more. She seems fine now, but I don't think _I_ am fine with this yet." Lifting her gaze from her hands to look at her mother, she finds nothing but confusion and concern. "What are you trying to say?"

Staring directly at her mom, Emily finds the words immediately this time. "Can Paige stay for a little while longer? Just to, you know, sort things out and calm down? Please?" Her mother just nods. "Of course. Do what you need to do. Just don't let it get too late." A genuine smile appears on Emily's face. "Thanks mom.", she says, before leaving a kiss on top of her mother's head and walking to her room.

Emily stops at her door. It's wide open and she can see Paige lying on her bed, on her stomach, her shoes standing in front of the bed. She takes up all of the space and Emily can see her even breathing. Without thinking, she walks over to her bed and lays down on top of Paige. She hears a grunt coming from under her. "What are you doing Em?" Moving slightly so she doesn't fully lie on Paige anymore, Emily lays her head next to Paige's, watching her face, her closed eyes, the little smile. "I could ask you the same thing." She leans in to leave a light kiss on Paige's lips.

"Your bed just looked so comfy and I had to wait. So I waited here." Paige peaks her eyes open, a big smile taking over her face. She takes Emily's hand and laces their fingers together. "I'm sorry I lied to you about Alison." Squeezing her hand, Emily kisses her again. "It's okay. But I want you to know that you don't need to hide anything from me. It won't change how I feel about you. It won't change that you make me happy. Happier than I've been in a long time."

She can see a single tear rolling down Paige's nose, but her smile is even bigger than the one before. "Okay, I won't hide anything from you anymore. I promise." After a short moment of silence, Paige shifts so she's on her side and breathes out. "You make me really happy too." Their foreheads are almost touching and they both lean in for another kiss. It's soft and barely there, but it's everything both of them need right now. When they pull away they don't really do, their lips just stop touching and their heads rest against each other. They keep their eyes closed and just smile.

* * *

That's how Pam finds them later. Worried, because neither of them came downstairs by now, she went to look if they were alright. They are lying on the bed, fully clothed, facing each other, their hands entwined and their foreheads touching. Both are breathing evenly, just like they are sleeping. As she walks closer, she realizes that that's what they are doing. Sleeping.

She tries to think of the last time she has seen Emily look so happy, so content. It was a long time ago. Not wanting to disturb the peaceful silence, she sneaks out of the room again. She doesn't want to do it, but she still calls Nick McCullers to tell him that his daughter really should stay the night.


	2. Wedding Cake

**A/N: **Written after 3x13. The wedding cake line gave me a lot of feelings.

* * *

Spencer taps a fork against her glass, the clinking sound disturbing the chatter and laughter in the room. She stands up and everyone's attention is on her. Well, maybe not Paige's and Emily's, because they're lost in each other, but she's sure they're going to listen.

She clears her throat and looks around the room, until her eyes settle on Emily. "I'd like to make a toast." She sees Emily whispering something into Paige's ear while she takes her hand and then they both turn towards her with wide smiles. Spencer is pretty sure she hears Aria say 'Aww, look at them.' and she feels her own smile growing.

"On Halloween a few years ago, a lot of things happened. Most of them are nothing I want to talk about. But there is one thing I remembered earlier today when I saw Emily in her dress; when we saw you two walking into the room, it was the first time we really saw you as a couple and I remember Hanna saying 'They look like a wedding cake from outer space.'"

Laughter rumbles through the room and Hanna shouts "They did!" Spencer laughs at that and nods. "She's right, you did. But what I wanted to say is: we should have known then and there that the two of you were going to make it. That one day we would be at your wedding, that you would get through everything together. And you did." She raises her glass in Paige's and Emily's direction.

"Today, we are at your wedding. I don't think I need to say something like 'May their love last forever', because everyone can see that it will. So, to you, Emily and Paige!" Taking a sip, she sits down again, setting her glass on the table to look at the couple.

The smiles on their faces could light up at least half of New York and just as they're about to get lost in each other again, Paige turns her head towards Spencer and mouths 'Thank you', before turning back to Emily, who sends Spencer a wide smile.

She smiles back and looks at them a little longer. Yeah, she should have known.


	3. Weakness

**A/N: **Written after 3x15, because people complained about Paige sleeping on the floor.

* * *

She can't fall asleep. She can't, because all she can think about is the fear she saw in Paige's eyes tonight and how she should have noticed sooner. How she should never let all of this happen to her.

She can't lose her.

Paige shifts on her mattress and she is glad that her parents allowed her to stay, even if the door has to stay open and they can't sleep in the same bed.

At least she knows she's safe.

She tries to shut her eyes, hoping for sleep to come, but there's one thing Paige said keeps her wide awake. 'You like strong women, right?'

She does. And Paige is strong, but that's not the only thing about her she likes. Not by far and she wonders why Paige doesn't see that.

Before she gets lost in those thoughts, Paige begins sobbing, mumbling "No." over and over again. Emily scrambles out of her bed and to Paige's side, taking her hand to press a kiss on the knuckles. "It's okay, Paige. You're safe."

Leaning in, she kisses Paige's forehead, brushing through her hair with one hand. Her eyes shoot open and Emily can see the tears in them. "I'm sorry.", Paige whispers, wiping at her own tears. "Don't. Scoot over." Without asking, Paige makes room for her and Emily crawls onto the mattress and under the blanket. She opens her arms, motioning for Paige to cuddle up.

Fingers twist into her sleep shirt and Paige's face pressed into her chest. Emily kisses her head and hugs her closer, inhaling deeply a she trails her hand up and down Paige's back, waiting for her to calm down. When the sobs quiet down, she can feel the hold on her loosen a tiny bit and she presses her lips into Paige's hair again.

They lie in the silence and Emily's thoughts come back, pushing her to speak.

"You don't have to be strong." She can feel Paige tense against her, so she continues. "I like _you _and I won't leave you for being scared." Swallowing, she kisses her forehead. "Please, don't ever think that. Just... tell me how you feel and we'll deal with it. Together. Okay?"

Instead of an answer, she gets a soft kiss filled with promises and lets herself sink into warm lips. Pulling back, Paige buries herself in her arms again and Emily exhales a shaky breath into the silence.

She feels Paige's heart beating against her ribs and presses her eyes shut.

"I can't lose you."


	4. Little Things

She falls in love with the little things.

Things like the tiny crinkle above Emily left brow, that only appears when she's worried about something or thinking really hard, just like she is right now, staring into her chemistry book, twisting the cap of her pen around and around.

When Emily catches her staring and pretends to be annoyed, the glint in her eyes and the tug of her lips giving her away, Paige doesn't even try to stop herself from kissing said crinkle.

* * *

She falls in love with the little things.

How Paige dips her head down, a blush creeping across her cheeks along with a sheepish smile. It happens every time she tells her she's beautiful, every time she says 'I love you.' and every time she feels her heart bursting in her chest.

This time is no exception, and she leaves a kiss on Paige's forehead, waiting for the whispered 'I love you, too.'

* * *

She falls in love with the little things.

Small habits like the little bounce Emily does when she is excited, her hair moving with her as a smile takes over her face, lighting up the room and her own mood, even more so when Emily hugs her with all the force she has or simply grabs her face and plants a big kiss on her mouth, just because she's here and they're happy.

* * *

She falls in love with the little things.

Things like the scar right on the edge of Paige's eyebrow, the result of being an energetic kid with a hockey stick and big dreams. She doesn't know what Paige is dreaming of now, sleeping soundly next to her, but looking at her face and that scar, she starts dreaming of a little Paige with scraped knees and messy braids, catching herself thinking about their future and her own tiny, adventurous Paige.

* * *

She falls in love with the little things.

Like Emily biting the inside of her own lip because she is nervous about a test or a meet or meeting her parents, but when Paige hugs her and presses a kiss behind her ear, whispering how much she loves her, she always starts smiling, still gnawing on her lip and it's the cutest thing she's ever seen. Always.

* * *

She falls in love with the little things.

It's something she'll never understand. Her mom and her friends and everyone else called her 'Em' her entire life, but when Paige does it, her heart flutters and her knees get weak and wobbly, and she's ready to do anything Paige wants.

* * *

They fall in love with their little things.

With the way their hands fit together, because they tangle with no space between them left. How they fall asleep at night, Emily's back pressed into Paige's front, and how, when they wake up again, Paige's head is lying on Emily's chest.

How they get up early to get breakfast with each other on school days, not patient enough to wait until school to see each other.

Or when they grab their bikes and just get away from everything together, sitting down somewhere in the woods, enjoying the silence.

* * *

They fall in love with their little things and they never stop.


	5. More Than Words

**A/N: **Written after 3x20, I don't actually know why.

* * *

"I love _you_."

Paige presses a short, firm kiss to her lips like she's trying to make a point and Emily can feel it.

She loves her.

Breaking out into a smile, she grabs Paige's shirt to pull her into a kiss and she gets lost in it, gets lost in Paige, soft fingers brushing her cheek, her own hand tangling in Paige's hair instead of the shirt.

Stumbling over to her bed, she doesn't dare to stop kissing Paige, not when she sinks onto the bed, not when she tries to get rid of her pants and when she pulls off Paige's shirt, separating them for a second, it feels like she can't breathe.

They move together, gentle and careful, their kisses filled with moans and Emily is sure she's never felt so loved.

* * *

She's lying on her side, facing Paige, hands tangled between them, noses almost touching and their gaze locked. When Paige moves closer to press a kiss against her forehead, seeing her naked skin, everything she just touched and kissed, makes Emily feel another pang of jealousy. The thought of somebody else doing that, of Shana doing that, makes her feel sick.

Paige looks at her, playing with a few strands of her hair, her lips grazing Emily's face every now and then. "Paige? Have you and Shana... Did you-" Her voice sounds small and scared, her stomach turning and she can't look at her. "No. I never wanted to. It never felt right."

She breathes out and feels ashamed for being so relieved, so jealous. She wasn't with Paige then, it's over and it really shouldn't matter. She's with her now.

"Okay," she mumbles, finally managing to look at Paige again. "I'm sorry for being so jealous. I should have trusted you." Paige just kisses her. "It's fine. Actually, it's kind of cute that you're jealous. I just need you to know that there's no reason to worry. None," she whispers and Emily nods. She believes her.

* * *

"I wish I could stay." It's a sigh that she only can agree to. She never wants her to leave.

Still, they get dressed and she walks Paige to the door, kissing her goodbye, getting lost in the kiss again. "Be careful," she says when she pulls away and Paige rolls her eyes before kissing her one last time.

She turns to go and Emily leans against the door frame, watching her walk to her car. Just as she reaches it, Emily remembers something. "Paige, wait!" She runs the few steps and grabs the lapels of Paige's jacket, pulling her close to kiss her hard and with everything she feels.

"I love you too." Paige grins, dipping her head down and whispering "I know." She cups Paige's cheek to look into her eyes, leaning in to kiss her softly. "Good."


	6. Fault, Regret, Forgetting

**A/N: **WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH. Okay, I warned you. Please don't kill me. I'm sorry for writing this.

* * *

"They found another body."

No.

No. Not again. Never again.

Suddenly she's standing on the street again, in her dress, wrapped in Spencer's and Aria's arms, crying, sobbing, unable to breathe, unable to stand, unable to understand.

It's all happened before and she can't believe, she doesn't want to believe it's happening again. Her eyes burn with tears and she can't breathe.

"It's Paige, isn't it?"

She knows it. She loves Paige. Of course she died. Everyone she loves dies. Everyone. And she is too selfish to stop herself from loving them. It's her fault. She's the reason they die. She's the reason their families and their friends suffer. She's the reason _she_ suffers.

Her mom nods and all air leaves her lungs. She sees her mom's mouth moving, but she doesn't her a word, the dull thud of her own heartbeat drowning out everything, like she's underwater. Arms pull her into an embrace she doesn't respond to and it's the last thing she remembers.

Paige is dead.

* * *

She doesn't move for the next three days, her parents have to force her to drink and eat something, have to carry her into the bathroom and dress her.

She doesn't stop crying. She cries and cries, about Paige, about Maya, about Alison, about her life. Mostly about Paige. She loves her- _loved_ her. Her smile, her hair, her hands, her eyes, her scent. The way she held her, the way she kissed her, the way she laughed, the way she talked. The way she cared.

The way she loved her back.

She's gone and Emily will never see her again. She will never smell or hear or touch her again.

Never.

She still loves her.

* * *

She goes to the funeral and gets hugs and words of sympathy are whispered to her. Sympathy she doesn't deserve. It's her fault. It's her fault that Paige is dead.

Her life goes on. It goes on without her and it doesn't feel like her life anymore. She gets up every morning for her parents and for her friends. Because Paige would have wanted her to. She tries her best to get through the days, feeling empty and alone.

* * *

Five years later, she notices that she can't remember their last kiss. She forgot how Paige smelled and how her laugh sounded. It keeps her up at night, trying to remember every single thing, guilt and regret filling her. She can't forget Paige. It's her fault she isn't here anymore. She can't forget her.

She still loves her.

* * *

Ten years later someone falls in love with her and stays. She tries to be happy with her.

Sometimes she believes she really is happy. Sometimes, when the sky is blue and the sun shines and her body feels warm and light. Sometimes, when Hanna calls and gives the phone to her daughter who is babbling things about lollies and dresses. Sometimes, when she visits her parents, eating her mom's apple pie and hearing her dad talk.

Sometimes she feels like she can breathe and laugh and live.

But then she remembers that Paige is dead and she hates herself a little bit more every time, because, for a moment, she forgot.

* * *

She never falls in love again. She doesn't let herself. She can't bear to be the reason why someone dies.

She never falls in love again and when a dog runs in front of her car and she swerves around it, hitting a tree, she swears she hears Paige's voice as everything fades to black.

She still loves her.


	7. Go Big Or Go Home

**A/N:** Written before 3x21, I just based in on what happened in 3x20 and the promo pics.

* * *

She can't believe it. She just met Missy Franklin and talked to her about her future. Missy Franklin told her that she's talented. Missy Franklin. And it's all because of Shana.

"I really don't know how to thank you, Shana. If there's anything I can do, tell me." Shana grins at her and takes a step closer. "Well, there is _something_ you could do," she says, her voice dropping slightly. "What is it?"

"Leave Paige. Break up with her and stop talking to her." It sounds like a demand or a threat and she isn't sure if she heard right.

"What?" Shana takes another step, until she's standing close enough for Emily to feel her breath.

"You heard me. Leave her."

"Do you really think that's going to work? That I'm going to leave her as a thank you for something I didn't ask you to do? Well, guess what? It doesn't work that way."

Shana lets out a laugh, leaning into her, growling "You said _anything_. So, leave her." Backing away, Emily balls her fist and grinds her teeth. "I'm not leaving Paige. I love her."

"So do I and I want her back." Shana's voice rises and she can feel people looking at them, but she doesn't care.

"You never had her."

She knows she hit the right spot, Shana's jaw going slack before tensing again. "And you never will. You were never anything but a substitute."

* * *

"Okay, so what exactly happened?" Paige asks her, pressing a wet towel to her busted lip. She tries not to wince and her eyes close.

"Shana tried to bribe me into breaking up with you."

The hand falls from her face, bumping her lip and she can't help but flinch this time.

"Sorry."

Paige carefully lifts the towel again and Emily peeks to look at the worried frown on her face.

"What did you do?"

Covering Paige's hand with her own, she catches her gaze. "I said no."

Releasing a breath, Paige leans in and kisses the corner of her mouth.

"That's all it took for her to bust your lip?" Clearing her throat, she tries to look as innocent as possible. "I might have mentioned that she was just a substitute for the real thing."

Paige laughs and kisses her again, careful and soft. "Maybe now she'll take the hint." She nods and winces. Apparently nodding hurts when you have a swollen lip. "I hope so."

They fall silent for a moment, Paige tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, fingers softly brushing her cheek.

"Wait, how did she try to bribe you?" Paige asks and she tries not to smile too much. "She introduced me to Missy Franklin." Paige's eyes widen and her mouth opens. "Wow, it's go big or go home for Shana, huh?"

"Yeah. The best thing is that she told me about her 'conditions' _after_ I talked to Missy. If she'd mentioned it before, I never would've agreed." Smiling at her, Paige takes the towel away to look at Emily's lip. "I'd hope so. Getting dumped for the chance to meet Missy Franklin is not something I ever thought I'd have to be worried about."

"Good, because you don't. How bad is it?" she asks, pointing at her mouth. Paige shrugs and kisses her nose. "Not that bad. It's kinda hot actually. I mean, you fought for me, risking your beautiful face." She can't help but laugh, ignoring her pounding lip as she kisses Paige.


	8. So Much Closer

**A/N:** Written before the finale, because I missed Paige.

* * *

"So get ready to say goodbye to Paige, cause I promise you A is going to take her away from you." Aria's voice is booming through the room and her brain and it hurts. It hurts because as much as she is trying to ignore it, trying to replace the fear with anger, it doesn't work. She is scared. So scared that her heart rate speeds up at the sound of her phone, her breath stops every time the door bell rings or she hears a siren go off. Her first thought is always Paige.

She grabs her phone and texts Paige that she's coming over. She doesn't wait for an answer. She can't.

* * *

As soon as Paige opens the door, she buries herself in her arms, twisting her fingers into Paige's shirt, her face pressing against a soft neck. She inhales deeply, trying to get closer, _needing_ to be closer, to know Paige is still there, to feel her in her arms, safe, breathing, holding her.

The arms around her tighten and Paige presses a kiss against her head, soft and lingering. "What's wrong, Em?" She can't say anything and lets a single tear roll down her cheek. Paige holds her even closer.

* * *

They are lying on the bed, her head on Paige's chest, one arm and one leg slung across Paige's body. She can't get close enough.

Paige's heartbeat is slow and steady and the only thing that makes her feel better. "Please, tell me what's wrong. Please." Paige's voice sounds small as it trembles through her chest and against Emily's ear.

She hugs her closer, pressing herself into Paige and whispers "I'm scared that I'll lose you." She hears Paige swallow, but the arm around her waist squeezes her, not letting go, keeping her from falling apart. Paige pulls her close and on top, just holding her, not saying a word.

She can't get close enough, but it's close enough for now.


	9. Are We There Yet

She still can't remember that night. She still can't remember kissing Paige and on some days it just doesn't leave her mind. Today is one of those days.

They're watching... something. Some show about cops or firefighters or something else that Emily hasn't been paying attention to, because all she can think about is the kiss from that night. She looks over at Paige, who seems to be totally engrossed with this show. She's asked her before, about that night and about that kiss but the only answer Paige gave her was that she had shown up, kissed her and then left.

She still doesn't know more about the kiss.

"Em, you're staring. What is it?" Paige asks without looking at her, the hand resting in Emily's lap squeezing her knee.

"I'm just- thinking about that night again." Muting the TV, Paige turns towards her. "Why?" She takes Paige's hand and takes a deep breath. "I can't remember the kiss. I _can't_." Her eyes burn and her throat feels dry, her brain empty and she hates herself for it. "Hey, Em, look at me," Paige whispers, holding Emily's hand between her own. She does and Paige gives her a small smile.

"It's just a kiss."

Her heart clenches, tight and painful and she can't breathe. "It's not. It's not just a kiss. I kissed _you_. It was a kiss with _you_ and I want to remember every single one." She can feel hot tears running down her cheeks and Paige looking at her, but she can't stop. "I want to know what it felt like. I want to know what you felt. How the kiss felt and what the kiss was. I want to remember because it isn't _just_ a kiss. For me it isn't. It never-"

Paige pulls her into her lap and kisses her, warm, soft and slow, her lips lingering, her hands resting on Emily's waist. The kiss leaves her breathless but needing more, needing Paige closer.

"That's how it felt for me," Paige whispers when she pulls away, their foreheads resting against each other. "I don't know how it felt or what it was for you. For me it was unbelievable and everything I wanted. The kiss itself. After you stopped kissing me, I felt bad because I knew it was wrong. I know it was. But just the kiss... The kiss felt like that."

Emily smiles and exhales, wiping a tear away. She puts her face into the crook of Paige's neck, her arms pulling Paige closer. "Actually, that's what every kiss with you feels like," she hears Paige say and her heart jumps, her stomach flutters and she smiles a bit more.

"Like home?"

"Yeah, like home."


	10. Comes and Goes (In Waves)

**Summary:** What if Paige hadn't walked in on Emily and Nate kissing?

* * *

A car door slams shut and she realizes what she's doing, pulling back as fast as she can. Nate's rough lips follow her, so she turns her head and closes her eyes. What did she just do? And why did it feel right for a second? Her eyes focus on the bag on the floor. The bag with Maya's stuff.

"I've wanted to kiss you for awhile."

She feels sick. Glancing at him she opens her mouth but there is nothing she can say, so she doesn't and starts staring at her shoes instead.

"I haven't felt this close to someone in a long time." Swallowing heavily, she tries to think of something to say again but she can't, her mind going over the same things again and again. Paige, Maya, the second it felt right and how wrong it feels now. How wrong it was.

"You need to leave." She doesn't know where it came from, but it doesn't really matter because Nate gets up and she can feel him looking at her. "See you, Emily," he says and not knowing what to do, she nods, her eyes locked on something behind him.

He leaves and she buries her face in her hands, trying not cry, her stomach turning at the thought of everything that just happened and everything that is about to come. Wiping the back of her hand over her lips, she wants to get rid of the taste, the feeling of Nate's lips, everything.

Again, her eyes find the bag and her heart twists with pain. She doesn't know anything anymore. She has no idea what she feels or what she is even supposed to feel like. The one thing she feels is the sickness that settles inside her.

"Are you alright, Em?" Paige's voice reaches her and something inside her stirs, the queasy feeling lifting, only to fall down twice as strong. What is she going to do? Deciding on forcing a small smile. "Hey! Uh, yeah, I was just... waiting. Have you got the food? I'm starving."

Paige frowns at her, and Emily is sure she knows that something is up, but Paige doesn't say anything, just holds the bag up and takes a step closer to her. Reaching her hand out for Emily to take it, she gives her a smile. "All of your favorites."

She takes Paige's hand, letting herself be pulled up, and she finally knows what the sickness is. It's guilt. Guilt that grows even more when Paige laces their fingers together as they go inside.

* * *

They are sitting on the couch, watching a movie about people with guns running around and she pokes around in her noodles. "What's wrong, Em? You just told me you were starving, but you barely touched your food."

Setting the carton down, she swallows before glancing at Paige's worried face. "Nate and I... we kissed." She sees Paige opening her mouth, a small "Oh." falling out and she can't bear to look at her. "I'm sorry, I don't know how it happened. One second I was comforting him and the next we are kissing. I'm so sorry."

She glances at Paige again, noticing her knuckles, white from clenching her hands into fists and her pale face. "Do you know why it happened?" She shakes her head, her hands awkwardly resting in her lap. "I don't. I don't know anything anymore. I'm just so sorry."

Neither of them says anything and she keeps stealing glances at Paige, scared of what is going to happen, scared of what Paige is going to do now. She doesn't want this to be over.

"We were talking about Maya and then, for a moment, it felt right," she hears herself whisper and she could slap herself for it. "Does it still feel right?"

Burying her face in her hands again, she closes her eyes. "I don't know. I'm sorry." Paige shifts a tiny bit closer to her. "Maybe it was about Maya. You still miss her. You both do." She lets her hands sink and looks at the bag that is now lying under the table, a bit of Maya's shirt peaking out and has to swallow the lump in her throat. Maybe she is right. She feels close to Maya when she talks to Nate.

"I don't want to miss Maya anymore." It just slips out, along with all the air in her lungs and a few tears. Paige takes her hand, carefully covering it with her own. "You're allowed to miss her. Yes, I am a little upset that you kissed someone else, but you told me and I'm glad you did."

She takes a deep breath and turns her head to look at Paige, the sickness lessening a bit. "I'm so sorry," she whispers again and Paige squeezes her hand, letting her know that it won't break them.

Still, her only thought is that she doesn't want to miss Maya. Not if it makes her lose Paige.


	11. Lifeline

**A/N:** Takes place immediately after their last scene of 4x02.

* * *

Resting her forehead against Emily's, she can't help but smile. She knows she shouldn't, because her girlfriend is upset and in pain and scared, but she can't stop. Emily wants a life with _her_. She wants them to have a safe and happy future. A future for them together.

And she knows it should make her sad that Emily has to be worried about it, but the only thing she can think about is that Emily _wants_ this. Emily wants her.

She runs her hand up and down Emily's arm, trying to comfort her, pressing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Please, don't lie to me again. Especially when you're in pain." Emily nods against her, tangling their hands together. "I get that you want to protect me, I do, but not telling me when you're hurt- It just leads to more trouble and more pain." Again, Emily nods, releasing a shaky sigh. "I know."

Leaning back slightly, she watches Emily. Her eyes are still tear-filled and she looks tired. Carefully, she crawls onto the bed to sit next to Emily, trying not to move too much, hoping not to cause Emily any more pain.

When she's finally settled against the head board, Emily's hand still in hers, she scoots down slightly, leaning back into the pillows and Emily shifts to rest her head on her chest, cautiously draping her right arm over her stomach, letting out a short, small wince.

"Is this okay?" She feels Emily move her head slightly and softly touches her back, trailing her fingers along the spine. "Yeah, it is." Emily sighs and spreads her fingers over Paige's ribs, moving her head slightly to kiss her chin. "I'm sorry for messing up," she hears Emily mumble and shushes her with a gentle kiss on the side of her head.

"It's okay," she says, drawing a circles on Emily's back, and they fall silent. Her hand keeps moving and she smiles at the ceiling.

Emily wants a future, a life with her. Emily wants her. Emily wants her and honestly, for her that is more than enough to make things work. "We're okay." It's barely a whisper that she doesn't get a response to, Emily breathing deeply and slowly on top of her.

She keeps tracing shapes and forms into Emily's back, burying her nose in soft hair, careful not to hurt Emily, and in her mind it all plays out. She sees them at college, pushing their beds together to sleep in each other's arms, she sees them moving into an apartment together, she sees them kissing and laughing and hugging. She sees them happy.

Her heart flutters, speeding up and she closes her eyes, inhaling deeply. "I love you so much," she breathes out, kissing Emily's hair lightly.

Steps come from the hallway, and she opens her eyes just as Emily's mom looks through the door. "Hi, Paige." Mrs. Fields' voice is quiet, calm, and she gives her a friendly smile. "Hello, Mrs. Fields," she whispers back and suddenly she is aware of everything she is touching and everything Emily is touching. Clearing her throat, she shifts a bit, trying to sit up without waking Emily. "I was comforting her and she fell asleep. Is- is this alright?"

Emily's mom laughs silently and nods. "Yes, it's alright. She needs sleep. And she needs you." Swallowing, she looks at Mrs. Fields. "I know. I'm here." She gets a nod and another smile before Mrs. Fields lets her eyes rest on her daughter's face for a moment. "Tell me when you leave, okay?"

She wants to ask if she can stay the night, but she already knows she can't because her parents are waiting for her. So, instead, she nods and tugs Emily closer to her just a bit, avoiding the bruise. Mrs. Fields leaves them alone again and she exhales, kissing Emily's head and drawing a heart on Emily's back.

She stays for another hour, thinking about the future, _their_ future, and she knows she should be scared, but really, the only thing she is, is happy.


	12. These Days

**A/N:** Set during 4x04.

* * *

They sit there for a few more minutes, Paige's hand in between her own and she wants to believe her. She wants their dream to be real.

When Paige gets up, she reaches her hand out, pulling Emily into her arms. "It'll be okay." She presses her face into the crook of Paige's neck, the smell of chlorine tickling her nose and she exhales. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

It's just a whisper, but it's the truth. She doesn't know where she'd be without Paige. She doesn't know how she would deal with- everything, really.

Paige kisses the side of her head, running her hand over Emily's back. "You won't have to find out." She smiles into the damp skin of Paige's neck, feeling a kiss being pressed into her hair. "Come on, let me get dressed and then I'll take you home, okay?"

Pulling back, she swallows and then nods, following Paige into the locker room. She leans against the lockers, fumbling with her hands because Paige's are missing.

When Paige slips the swimsuit off, she tries not to stare. She really tries, but Paige doesn't seem to mind and she catches a glimpse of her breasts just as she puts her bra on. It's a nice distraction from everything and she has to swallow again. It's not like she hasn't seen this before, or touched or kissed the same space she's staring at now, but it feels kind of different. Vulnerable.

"You know you're allowed to look, right?" Paige says, pulling up her skirt. Biting the inside of her lip, she nods and smiles. "Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean I should _stare_." She hears Paige letting out a dry laugh.

"You can stare all you want, Em," Paige tells her with a low voice, switching on the blowdryer. Emily smiles as her heart flutters, watching Paige do her hair as fast as she can. The loud noise of the dryer stops and Paige reaches for her brush.

"Let me do it," she whispers and Paige hands her the brush with a smile, sitting down on the bench. She carefully brushes through Paige's hair. It's soft and still slightly damp, and Paige relaxes into her touch. It's calming and all the tension falls off her shoulders, making everything seem a little bit better. Her fingers brush Paige's neck and she feels her slow pulse and the warmth of the skin, a soft sigh escaping Paige's mouth.

She doesn't know how long she stands there, combing Paige's hair in complete silence, but when she's done, it's dry and she feels calm, everything else seeming distant and unreal.

Resting her hands on Paige's shoulder, she simply breathes for a moment and Paige takes one hand to kiss it. "Thank you." She inhales deeply, a small smile tugging at her lips as she watches Paige put on her jacket, closing the locker door.

Paige walks up next to her, holding her hand out. "Let's get you home," she says softly and Emily nods, watching as her fingers fit into the spaces between Paige's. She is not looking forward to face her parents again, but with Paige, it seems like something she can do.


End file.
